Wednesday 14th March 2012
DAWN Raid should be a nom de plume: the author of Memorable Early Morning Arrests; to be found on the shelf alongside Get Rich Quick by Robin Banks, Egg Cookery by Sue Flay, How to Predict your Future by Horace Cope, and the lengthy Biography of Count Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy by Warren Piece.
This being England, I don’t suppose they surround your country home with armed personnel from the anti-terrorist branch, or have a helicopter hovering above the roof, but there might be the crunching of tyres on the gravel and the odd flashing blue light.. you know, just enough to disturb the sleep a minute or so before that clang of the antique bell-pull.
However polite they are, you’d still be seriously ruffled, wouldn’t you?
“Alright, I’m coming! This had better be impor… oh… er, is there a problem, officer?”
Standing there in a dressing-gown, guilty secrets racing from rear stalls to centre-stage, blinking in the spotlight, nipped by the daybreak chill, desperate for a wee. And there’s bound to be a firm tone to the formality:
“Mr Brooks? We’d like you to come with us and answer a few questions.”
They’ll know, instantly, from your reaction, whether you’re terrified it’s all going to come out, or terrified you’re going to get done for something you didn’t do; or somewhere in between.
(In the case of a couple of those under investigation here, let’s not forget the bizarre incident of the bag containing ‘a laptop, phone and private papers’, found in a bin in an underground car park close to the London penthouse of Mrs Brooks, the day after her first arrest in July 2011…)
But what particularly made me chuckle was the decision, deliberate or otherwise, to do this on a day of such importance to the man in question.
“The happiest moment of my year is about three hours before the first race at Cheltenham on Tuesday,” Brooks had written in his Daily Telegraph column the previous day.
Not this time, Charlie. The police should, I feel, be congratulated on their sense of timing.