Tuesday 10th July 2012
“POUR everyone a large drink, darling, and then Brendan can give us his version.”
Having urged her husband to use his computer to find more film recordings of my encounter with the giant Me Dear, Louise was clearly no longer concerned about her damaged footwear or the packing still to be completed before the time came for her and Dan to depart for the airport.
Brendan, I am pleased to say, gave only a sparse account of where and when we had met, what had happened since, and how we’d escaped from the giant Me Dear, concluding his remarks by confirming that he and I now wanted a few days ‘away from the madding crowd’ with maybe ‘a bit of sight-seeing’ and ‘the odd stroll on the heath’.
“And how will you manage that?” Louise shook her head.
“By six o’clock tonight you’ll be the lead news story on every channel. There’ll be photos of the pair of you on all the front pages. You won’t be able to walk fifty yards down the street without being accosted. You are so naïve, Brendan. Dan and I will cancel our trip. Then we can stay here and look after you.”
Fortunately, Dan intervened.
“No need for that, darling. We’ve been looking forward to this for ages. Of course we can’t cancel. But I have an idea. Why don’t you or I pop into that costume hire place in the ark aid? Buy a couple of masks, like that guy in the pub. It’s Chris Muss. Party time. Lots of people go out wearing fancy dress. Just put on disguises.”
Louise jumped up, rushed from the room…
“Oh. Pardon me,” he called after her. “Touch sensitive today, are we?”
…and returned moments later to kiss her husband’s cheek, while thrusting an arm into a raincoat.
“Darling Daniel, you are a genius and I love you. And I’ll love you even more if you can get the butler to squeeze what’s on our bed into that tiny suitcase while I’m out. Won’t be long.”
She kissed him once more and departed.
“The butler?” queried Brendan. “I didn’t know you…”
“She means me,” Dan explained. “It’s Lou’s way of saying dog’s body.”