Here Today: Gig the Fourth

Woodruffs Organic Café, Stroud
Sunday 1st December 2013
Secret Musician: Oogoo Maia (clavichord)
Special Guest: Toby Kempner
In the Thermos: Rooibos Tea


MARY, played by a pregnant Marcus (bowler hat under jumper), and Joseph (Jo, with suitable tea-towel head-wear) were struggling with the census forms in our advent/nativity sketch: Christmas is Coming.

Having decided that the question about spare bedrooms was to enable the government to slap a tax on them, the couple from Nazareth then contemplated a long list of possible religions, which included… Jew, Orthodox Jew, Unorthodox Jew, Gentile, Sodomite, Ammonite, Smokey Robinson & the Miracles, Baptism of Fire, Secular Jew, Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition, That Stupid Cult in America That Keeps Getting the Day of Rapture Wrong, Wakefield Trinity, Specsavers, The Chicken & Egg United Reform Church, and many more.

Marcus’ alphabet version on a similar theme was entitled The Jesus Tapes, Day 2:

Afternoon breastfeeding.
Catch Dad entertaining foreign gift-bearers –
“Hi, I’m Joseph!” –
keenly legitimizing Mum’s no ordinary pregnancy.
Questioned regarding satnavs,
the unexpected visitors wisely xplained,
“Yonder zig-zagger…”

Audience members won Tunnocks bars for solving all the Merry Month quiz questions, which included…

a) She died in 2005, aged 92
b) Her father was a carpenter, her mother a teacher
c) Part of a highway in Missouri was named in her honour in 1994
d) She was of African, Cherokee-Creek and Scots-Irish ancestry
e) On 1st December 1955, she refused to give up her seat on a bus in Montgomery, Alabama*


a) He became President of his country on 2nd December 1976
b) One of his lesser-known quotes is, “If you calculate 15 minutes a day to shave, that is 5,000 minutes a year spent shaving”
c) At the height of his powers, he was 6 feet 4 inches tall
d) He was succeeded by his brother Raoul in 2008
e) He stopped smoking Havana cigars in 1985*

While Marcus ranted about not wanting to waste time having to shop around for services, Jo wrote this instant piece incorporating audience-suggested words beginning with letter of the month O:

Oh Oh Oh!
I need ointment on
my oozing objectionable obnoxious
open graze on my knee.
For some obscure obtuse reason,
carrying an omelette
on my own in my orange dress
I fell over and the oleaginous omelette
obstinately made an offering on my dress
and now a hurt knee occupies my body.
My ovaries go ow! ow! ow!
Oh misery… over and out

We dimmed the lights for Coincidences, the fourth chapter of our classic serial, The Pie of Life. Jo’s Beautiful Spot featured four of her delightful sonnets. Marcus, unable to build a tower of plastic beakers, easily lost Match of the Day to audience volunteer Kate.

We’re back on Wednesday 1st January, 8pm, at Springhill Cohousing in Uplands, Stroud. Email us for more details.

* Rosa Parks; Fidel Castro









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