Mills Café, Stroud
Saturday 1st March 2014
Secret Musician: Susannah Gooch (violin)
Special Guest: Marguarita Mills
In the Thermos: Pomegranate and rose cordial
1965 was the year Jo started keeping a five-year diary, which she chose as her Show & Tell item for this month’s gig. The entries for 1st March several decades ago revealed a number of amusing incidents from her life as a teenager. We’re now wondering if the diary should become a regular feature.
Our History of the World sketch saw King Alfred as a contestant in the Great British Bake Off. Marcus initially claimed that writer’s block had prevented him from producing an alphabetical version, offering his ‘apologies, but… committed, devoted even for gigs hitherto, I just – kerplunk! – lost my nerve; overnight; pathetically quaking, retching, soiling the underpants – very weak xcuses yet… zilch’. Moments later, however, he recited A King Goes to Sleep, by a Grate:
Alfred, by conquering Danes encircled,
finds grateful hidey-hole in journeywoman’s kitchen.
“Look, mister. Nice oatmeal pancakes – quality recipe.
Sauté. Turn. Understand?”
Visitor watches, xhausted, yawns, zzzz’s
The café was packed, with more than fifty in the audience listening to Marcus ranting about his dissatisfaction with complaints procedures, while Jo tackled the challenge of writing something containing words starting with Z suggested by the audience:
Zoe zipped up her zebra-patterned dress
while watching Z Cars.
“So zealous!” said Zak,
who was reading his zodiac.
“I’m going out to my Zeugma class,” said Zoe.
Zilch response from Zak.
“As you have zero interest,” Zoe continued,
“Your zupper is by your zlippers.”
For the Merry Month, we asked the audience to identify:
a) She will be 67 on 14th March
b) Her career really took off following an appearance on the television talent show, Opportunity Knocks
c) She is a keen gardener, beekeeper, and patron of the Battery Hen Welfare Trust
d) In 2004 she was awarded the MBE for services to literature and entertainment
e) Her first collection, published in 1976, was entitled, Some of Me Poems and Songs*
a) He died on 3rd March 2010, aged 96
b) His wife Jill was a historian and film-maker
c) As Employment Minister, he introduced the 1974 Healthy & Safety at Work Act
d) Having been injured in a car crash at the age of 50, he walked with a stick for the rest of his life
e) He resigned as leader of the Labour Party shortly after the 1983 General Election*
For Look at a Book, we reviewed Bollocks to Alton Towers: Uncommonly British Days Out, written by various contributors to Viz. Among our favourite places the book recommends to visitors are 18 Albany Road, Bedford, which has been made ready as a modest home for the second coming of Jesus Christ, and the bungalow in Essex that houses a secret underground nuclear bunker.
We’re back on Tuesday 1st April, 8pm, at Mr Twitchett’s Coffee House and Bar in the Subscription Rooms, Stroud.
* Pam Ayres; Michael Foot